Now with Necromuten 7!™ 

The shocking new energy drink strong enough to raise the dead!
This cutting edge “extreme” beverage is taking the market by storm! Created by Necrotech Labs, this is the first product in the food industry designed by a pioneering bioweapons defense contractor! Using chemicals developed to make our soldiers fight harder and longer, it’s no wonder ZOMBIE RAMPAGE can help you study for that test or drive 18 hours in a row during spring break!

Although ZOMBIE RAMPAGE is still awaiting FDA approval, we can now offer this tasty and powerful elixir on a limited basis to specialized markets through this excusive offer!  Visit NETHERWORLD Haunted House in Atlanta GA this October and be one of the first to experience the power of ZOMBIE RAMPAGE!

Strong enough to raise the Dead!

NECROTECH Cancels Tours

(Atlanta, GA)   NECROTECH LLC, a Bioweapons Defense Contractor best known for creating Necromuten 7, the primary additive in the new energy drink, ZOMBIE RAMPAGE, has suspended all tours of the facility. According to spokesperson Janice Quist, the lab is undergoing “modifications” to streamline the production of Necromuten 7. When asked about the rumors of convicts being used as testers for the new additives she said ,“ We would never test our experimental fluids on unknowing subjects”. She went on to say that what is good for Necrotech is good for the country, and if anything unfortunate should happen, test subjects would be buried with honors.  Further questioning about the relocation of “The Mangler” the notorious medical serial killer to NECROTECH’S holding cells to use as a researcher was met with denials. Ms. Quist made sure to mention three new flavors due out soon, Mutant Mango, Gory Grape and Zomberry.

Reports of “Living Dead” in Local Cemetery

(Norcross, GA)   Is it some sort of sick joke, a clever marketing ploy or the end of the world?  Yesterday a tanker truck full of Zombie Rampage Energy Drink on the way to a nearby bottling plant swerved to avoid a cow and flipped over in Whyshburg Cemetery. Soon reports of walking corpses and “zombies” jammed police switch boards and news stations. Local officials aware of the “strong enough to raise the dead” ZOMBIE RAMPAGE marketing campaign, dismissed reports as hoaxes and pranks. We are sending crews to the scene to find out just how far Necrotech will go to market its new product.

General Denies “Zombie Rampage”

(Norcross, GA)   A weird story just got weirder! News crews dispatched to cover the flipped over tanker truck in Whyshburg Cemetery were halted by armed military response teams. Reporters were greeted by General “Bulldog” Magillicutty who said the spill was no cause for alarm and that his men were taking care of the situation. When asked about the small arms fire in the background, the General said it was “no ones business but his” and told them “to get their @#$% news vans out of there before he stuck a bazooka up their tail pipes.” When Necrotech Spokesperson Janice Quist was asked about the generals comments, she referred us to the Pentagon and made sure to mention the high levels of heart healthy anti-oxidants in ZOMBIE RAMPAGE. You can be sure we will be giving you up to the minute updates when more is known about this unusual story.

Does ZOMBIE RAMPAGE Cause Tumors?

(Norcross, GA)   Local medical facilities are up in arms about the effects of ZOMBIE RAMPAGE Energy Drink on area teenagers. Apparently many of the so called “heavy users” of the popular new beverage (Heavy users are defined by drinking more than ½ of a can every 6 months, SOURCE Necrotech LLC) are completely unable to sleep and are developing nasty pus filled tumors. When asked about the so called tumors, Janice Quist, spokesperson for Necrotech stated that it was categorically false. She went on to explain that people “with these tumors” are drawn to ZOMBIE RAMPAGE because they have vitamin deficiencies, a problem cured by drinking the tasty drink. She urged anyone experiencing symptoms such as these to break open a 4 pack and consume it within the hour. They are then to call Necrotech's research department.  She also mentioned a new program to have ZOMBIE RAMPAGE available in elementary schools as a choice to replace milk was nearing approval.

Military Shuts down Energy Drink Manufacturing Company, or Does It? 

(Norcross, GA)   Last night an unspecified branch of the US military blocked off all access to Necrotech LLC, manufacturers of Necromuten 7 the key additive of the wildly popular ZOMBIE RAMPAGE Energy Drink.  General “Bulldog” Magillicutty stated that it was a matter of national security and that no one, especially the press was allowed into the facility. When mobs of ZOMBIE RAMPAGE addicted crowds showed up for a free giveaway previously scheduled for that day things got ugly. The General addressed the crowd telling them that they couldn't handle the beverage and to go home to their “milk and cookies”. Undismayed several protesters got through the barricades into the facility and instead of the free giveaways captured supposed footage of gruesome experiments and an actual “Zombie Rampage”.  Necrotech Spokesperson Janice Quist claims the footage was from a TV commercial they were shooting for the brand, and that the military onsite were all paid actors.